Love notes from a
TRUE ROMANTIC

Roy Johnson demands constant attention. Whether he is on stage ranting about vegetarians (’Äúif God didn’Äôt want us to eat meat he would have made pigs taste bad and cows move faster - end of discussion’Äù), hanging out at gay karaoke at Crowbar in Ybor (and being asked, ’Äúwait, you mean you’Äôre not gay?’Äù after trying to hit on a leggy brunette), or sitting at his table outside of Java and Cream on Davis Island (where he drinks a six espresso shot iced mocha latte every morning), Roy gets noticed. It is easy to picture him as a hyperactive child sitting at his family’Äôs dinner table in Tulsa, Oklahoma trying to keep all the attention focused on himself. ’ÄúIn my family,’Äù he admits, ’Äúit wasn’Äôt about being the smartest or the fastest, or even the nicest. . .it was about getting the biggest laugh.’Äù By the age of ten, he had listened to Steve Martin’Äôs comedy albums so many times that he could recite them verbatim (even though he didn’Äôt understand all of it), and his obsession with making people laugh grew. ’Äî By William Blair

These days, Roy is a comic force of nature. He tours the country playing at comedy clubs and dive bars, usually driving all night to gigs in his trusty black Hyundai. He obsessively works on new jokes, staying up late to scrawl ideas on the eight foot tall whiteboard he has propped against his bedroom wall. Even in general conversation, you get the feeling he is constantly playing with new material, throwing out one-liners and experimenting with the rants that make up the majority of his work. He admits that he is ’Äúmore comfortable talking to 500 people than one-on-one’Äù, and his intense eyes never stop moving while he is talking. However, when he does lock his dark eyes on yours, it can be difficult to break the connection; he is direct, powerful and very passionate about his work.

Roy’Äôs viewpoint of the world is blatantly honest, slightly neurotic and absolutely hilarious. He has an opinion about everything, especially women. Even though he considers the perfect woman to be ’Äúa blend of my mother and one of those whores on Cimemax’Äù, he calls himself a romantic. His first comedy CD is titled ’ÄúLove Notes from the True Romantic’Äù and it contains his best known bit, a five minute lesson on how to be the most romantic man in the world for less than $10 (’Äúflowers $4, card $2.50, getting f’Äù*&ked like a porn star, priceless!’Äù). Women in the audience try to be offended, but instead find themselves laughing and looking at their dates critically. Although Roy can come across as a sexist pig at times, he is actually very much in touch with his feminine side (his favorite TV show is Gilmore Girls); this insight into women, as well as his dark eyes, Jack Nicholson eyebrows, and raw sex appeal (he made me add that last bit) has helped him acquire a large female fan base.

After being one of Tampa’Äôs favorite comedians for eight years, Roy is moving to Los Angeles. I met with him at Java and Cream on Davis Island to ask about his time in Tampa, his upcoming move to L.A., and why he considers himself a ’Äútrue romantic’Äù.

You call yourself ’ÄúTampa’Äôs Comedian’Äù but you are moving to L.A. ’Äì why?
Tampa has really neglected their comedy scene. The Tampa/Orlando area has some of the funniest comedians in the country right now, but unless you are famous you are overlooked. Tampa has run its course for me; there is nothing new here. I have done Davis Island, I have done Ybor and SoHo. There are only so many nights you can end up at the Hub.

So is your main goal as a comedian to become famous?
Comedy is an art form, it is the purest form of art. There are no musical instruments, no props, nothing to hide behind ’Äì you are naked before the world and completely vulnerable. It is just you on the stage using your words to elicit emotions from hundreds of people. People who headline clubs are usually big names from TV or movies ’Äì the big names sell the tickets even though the opening acts are often funnier because those are the people who are really striving and working hard to be funny. I want my name to be famous so that I can sell out shows. I don’Äôt really want fame and fortune, I just want to be able to pay my mortgage.

How did you get your start as a comedian?
Back in 2001, I was serving tables and living in a shitty apartment on Davis Island. I would go play my guitar and sing during open mic at Yeoman’Äôs Pub on Wednesday nights. I sang ’ÄúPurple Rain’Äù really, really bad ’Äì it was so bad that people didn’Äôt know if I was being bad on purpose or not, but I would keep singing until I had everyone in the bar laughing and singing along with me. One night, someone from the Improv approached me about doing open mic night there. At that time, I was thinking about going back to school to study accounting. After I did the open mic at Improv, I told my mom that I was going to forget about school and become a comedian. She said, ’ÄúOf course you are ’Äì you have always been a comedian.’Äù

You’Äôve been an Improv favorite for years, headlining and being a part of shows such as the Home Grown Show, the Average White Guy Show, and The Demolition Men. On November 4th you performed for the last time as a Tampa Comedian at the Improv ’Äì your Hollywood or Bust Show. Do you credit The Improv with giving you your big break?
I have to pay homage to The Improv. It is my favorite place on earth ’Äì it is a cathedral to comedy. There is no place that I feel more comfortable than on that stage doing a show. The first night that I performed there, I went up to the manager afterwards and asked him how I did. He told me that I sucked, but then as I walked away he pulled me back and said, ’Äúbut someday you are going to be a rock star.’Äù

Your first CD is called ’ÄúLove Notes from the True Romantic’Äù ’Äì what inspired that title?
I love women, adore women, but I still have issues with women and wanted to show that even though I can be critical of women, I still think that falling in love and being in love is the greatest thing on earth. I think of myself as a romantic because I think sex is better with romance, love and passion.

You teach a Comedy Boot Camp at the Improv ’Äì any advice for aspiring comedians?
Don’Äôt worry about trying to write funny material because you are not going to be funny at first. It takes time to get comfortable with being on stage ’Äì just be yourself. ’Ä¢’Ä¢’Ä¢

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